


Phobic

by respoftw



Series: 2018 Hurt/Comfort Bingo [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 09:15:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15021440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: Phobia was one of those overused words that people attributed to their mild aversions or petty fears, not fully understanding the extremity of a true phobia.





	Phobic

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't know where to start on my hurt/comfort bingo card so I asked on tumblr for someone to give me a number between 1 and 25 and rachaeljurassic picked 9 so 'Phobias' it was.

Phobia was one of those overused words that people attributed to their mild aversions or petty fears, not fully understanding the extremity of a true phobia.

By its very nature, a phobia implied a level of impairment that went beyond a few shudders.  It was the difference between shrieking at a spider and refusing to leave the house at night because spiders could be lurking, unseen, in the dark.

Rodney was intimately familiar with the difference between fear and phobias.  

Everyone was afraid of something, be it spiders, the Wraith, accidentally ingesting citrus, or dying alone, but most people were lucky enough to have escaped the spin of mental roulette that caused a fear to transcend into a phobia.

It was only this lack of understanding on the part of the general population that kept Rodney from spacing every single person on Atlantis who had thought it would be funny to leave the carcass of a dead Iratus bug in Sheppard’s office.

“Move.”  Rodney pushed his way through the crowd of marines that were gathered around the open doorway of John’s office, too focused on his goal to notice that the pushing wasn’t needed.  The Marines cleared a path to let him through, closing ranks again as soon as Rodney was through the door.

Major Lorne was crouched down on the floor of the office, his hand hovering over the huddled form of his Commanding Officer.  He looked beyond relieved to see Rodney.

“Doc, I’m sorry...I didn’t know who else to call.”

Rodney waved him off.  “Did you get rid of it?” he asked.

Lorne nodded, swallowing hard.  “Yes, sir. It’s gone.”

“And the soldiers who thought this would be funny?” he spat.

“They didn’t…” 

“Do _not_ make excuses for them,” Rodney interrupted, his anger snapping.

“I’ll deal with them,” Lorne promised. He nodded his head at the crowd of marines outside the room.  “ _We’ll_ educate them.”

Rodney took in the marines properly for the first time, noticing the way they all faced out from the office as if they were guarding the room against prying eyes.  Rodney realised with no small amount of gratitude that was exactly what they were doing. 

“Good,” he said.  “You’re...you did good.  I can take it from here.”

Lorne nodded, standing up and heading for the door.  “I’ll be on my radio, Doc. You need anything, just ask.”

Rodney inclined his head in thanks and waited for the door to slide shut behind Lorne leaving him and John alone in the room.  

Gracelessly, he sank to his knees and twisted around until he sat shoulder to shoulder on the floor next to John.  John’s knees were drawn up to his chest and his face was hidden against his raised knees. He seemed to be breathing normally enough, the slight hitch and flush of skin the only sign that he had been hyperventilating recently.

Rodney reached out with his hand and circled his fist loosely around John’s exposed ankle.  John shuddered at the touch, his breath hissing in through still clenched teeth. He didn't make any move to shake Rodney off though so Rodney got as comfortable as it was possible to get while sitting on the floor.

“It was dead?” John asked after close to a minute of silence.  His voice sounded wrecked and Rodney bit down on the impulse to go and wreck the idiot marines who thought this would be a funny prank.

“Yeah,” Rodney answered, his hand squeezing John’s ankle reassuringly.  “It was dead.”

John laughed shakily at that, his head coming up to thunk back against the wall.

“All this fuss over a dead bug,” he joked.  “You think I should wait until they take my rank from me or just hand my oak leaves in now?”

“I think you’re an idiot,” Rodney shot back.

John looked at him, a small smile on his face.  “You really know how to kick a guy when he’s down, McKay.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and bumped his shoulder against John’s in an unspoken apology.  “You’re an idiot for thinking that anyone would ever think less of you because of this.  I think, out of anyone, you have more reason than most to have developed entomophobia.”

John huffed.  “Yeah, right. It’s inspiring in a leader, the crippling fear of bugs.  I’m pretty sure they give medals out for that.”

Rodney shook his head, his anger still too close to the surface.  If he wasn’t careful it would let itself loose on John who was probably the last person who deserved it at the moment, no matter how idiotic he was being right then.

“You want to talk inspiring?” Rodney said.  “Take a look outside this door. There’s a damn honour guard out there making sure that nobody else messes with you.  You want to talk inspiring? Just ask Lorne what he has planned for the idiots that pranked you with this. Ask Radek if he’s finished getting a list of names of people that are going to find themselves without water or heat for the next week.”

John swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing with the movement.  Rodney wasn’t sure why that twitch of skin made him seem so vulnerable but it was enough for Rodney to tighten his grip on John’s ankle and shift closer until their shoulders overlapped and he could feel the line of John’s body against his chest.

“My skin feels like it’s still crawling,” John admitted, a shudder running through him.  

“Here,” Rodney shifted, kneeling in front of John.  “Let me.” John nodded ever so slightly and Rodney took hold of his arms, rubbing his hands up and down them, covering the crawling sensation with the tingling that came from skin on skin.

John bit down on what Rodney suspected would have been a long drawn in breath and Rodney didn’t bother asking anymore, he just gathered John in his arms, covering as much of him as possible.

John, touch averse at the best of times, leaned into him, grabbed on to him and pressed them even tighter together.  Rodney rubbed his hands everywhere he could reach, drawing a gasp out of both of them when he accidentally ghosted over John’s half-hard cock.

“Is this ok?” he asked.

“Don’t stop,” John begged. 

Rodney hesitated.  He wanted to help but he couldn’t cross this line if all it meant was comfort in an isolated moment.  It would be too hard, knowing how this felt, how John felt, and having to remember it forever without getting to have it again.

John frowned at him, clearly unhappy that Rodney had stopped but his face cleared, turning soft, fond and exasperated all at once as he read whatever was written on Rodney’s face.

“I want this,” John said.  “Have for a long time.”

“You have?  It’s not just the trauma talking?”

John pulled Rodney closer in answer, his legs spread wide until their cocks slid together, sending sparks down Rodney’s spine.  “Who’s the idiot now?” John asked.

“Oh, God,” Rodney moaned as John shimmied his hips.  “I am. I’m a huge idiot. You mean, we could have been doing this the whole time?”

“Maybe those marines did us a favour,” John smirked.

In the moment, John’s cock brushing against his own and John’s lips on his neck, Rodney could almost agree with that.

Afterwards though, when he realised that the reason that their first time having sex was on John’s office floor because that’s where he’d had a panic attack, Rodney felt very differently.

They were going to pay.  

John smiled lazily at him, reached out and brushed his cheek.

Later was good.  They would pay later.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And, yes, all of those marines were still outside the door while Rodney 'comforted' John.....


End file.
